C/o the Buddy Rocco 3
The Colonial Hotel
Hagerstown, Md.
Friday Mar. 23, 1956
2 pm
My dearest Norman,
I could hardly wait until I got home from work today- I was so sure I would have a letter from you & you didn't let me down. I had a busy morning and have a lot of paper work to do today.
I started on a labor of love last eve. Your portrait, My darling. I can never do your sweet face justice. I will try awfully hard tho'. You must remember I am a rank amateur & lack confidence. I now have 3 to do, my name is gradually getting around. I take it you are interested in Art- You don't know how happy that makes me. I've never shared any of the things that I really like with anyone. Do you like to read, fish, ride horseback? Drawing & music I know about- These are the things that really interest me.
My Darling- something in your letter upset me terribly- if I could only talk to you about it. I'm becoming more astonished, disgusted and afraid of what kind of family I'm connected with
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Please, Please Norman don't put me in their catagory. Maybe when I tell you this you'll drop me like a hot potatoe. I must try to make you understand. I don't want anything to do with a fast shack-job- I'm just a girl from a small town and these things still disgust and bewilder me. I want something fine and good out of life- not just a moments happiness here & there. Ive never been interested in anyone else since I married Bob- I've tried to be a good wife. Under such adverse conditions and with such examples that I'm beginning to realize started long ago- I find I have very little to work with, I hate to think what happened the nite you spent with her, I prayed it hadn't I know I helped the situation along, but you are made of much finer stuff than that My Darling. I'm not reprimanding you, just a little sick at the thought- I don't know what would happen to me if you let it ever happen again. I know you know what a mistake it was. I thank you for being honest with me. Now I'm going to be honest with you. If you ever accept her invitation- we will end before we ever get started. I couldn't bear it. You see I
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had lunch with her yesterday & she mauled & kissed me & told me she knew how I felt & kept bringing your name into the conversation- I don't even want to talk about you to her-Do you think I'm a prude- I only hope you will think more of me for being above that kind of thing- sex and love are something that go together- it takes love to make it click and without it, to me it's a weakness. I love you Norman, I think of you constantly-My first waking thought is - Norman My Darling- I have no control over the other things I feel- but if we are ever to mean anything to each other in the life- and I feel strongly that someday we will-we must not cheapen it--I'll follow you to the end of the earth for what I feel is good and wonderful- I'll tell you a secret darling- I don't intend to go through the rest of my life like this-I'm slowly dying of a broken heart under these conditions. I honestly didn't think I had an ounce of feeling left in my body-it's all there for you to take- but not for a moment or just long enough to release your feelings. I need you my love
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and I think you need me. At least I 'd like very much to be needed and loved and I mean completely. Please believe me Norman- I'm not just a fly by nite looking for excitement- True you've given me more excitement in one short day than I've known for my whole lifetime, but if that was all I wanted I wouldn't have stopped without going to bed with you.
I've so much faith in you darling- You're not like anyone I've ever known. I wish I was right in your arms this very minute. I've been so depressed lately if this work hadn't come at this time, & if I hadn't received your letter- I'm afraid of what would have happened to me.
No matter what happens Sweet- I'll treasure every Kiss, every word, every touch we've shared and those eyes- You bring my soul right out of my body. I've never belonged to anyone so completely without knowing if I ever will. I'll always, always love you.
There is nothing rare about the way I respond my darling- it seems so right & complete and where I belong. You are so wonderful.
I may sound completely rediculous but do you know what I 'd like to do-
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Wash & darn your socks, iron your shirts, cook your meals (Maybe after those awful eggs you couldn't stand that) Share your every hurt, dream, wish- take care of you- I live every minute with you in my thoughts. Kiss you when washing dishes- sit in your lap and cuddle in your arms- listening to music or watching TV- I'm not proposing Darling so don't be frightened- These are my innermost thoughts and you are the only one I can tell them to. I'm living in a dream & a life of fantasy I know- but it's all that is keeping me going.
I long to hear you play your wonderful guitar and hear it talk- you do make it talk- it takes real feeling to do that. You are such a fine, deep person Norman, and even tho' I love you with almost complete abandonment- I admire you and consider you my friend. I don't ever want to lose sight of these things I see in you. Don't ever be shallow and let the baser things in life rule you- It had to be you Norman- you've brought me to my senses and shown me life may someday be a wonderful thing.
My husband doesn't want children- after I now can have them I find this out. Do you want children Norman? Legitimate I mean. Forgive me darling- I'm so serious, I don't mean to sound flip at times.
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I'm going to ask for the same promise in this letter I asked in the last. Please come down & spend the week-end here. I have two very good reasons & I'm sure when you know what they are you will agree. First- Bob is a little disgusted with his mother's behavior & if you were to see her alone I'm sure- It would not be good- Second- My mother pointed out it would be better for you to be here- as a friend of both of us- than for me to be meeting you at Mrs. W's or somewhere else. I can assure you- Everything would be O.K.- and a much safer level. Then to- I'm being selfish- I don't want to miss a second of time-with you. Even with someone around & there wouldn't be all the time- Bob works Mon. & golfs Tues. So you see- How about Easter week-end- Please say you'll come. Just drop a post-card sometime next week & say you are planning to come to Wash. to see us that week-end- I know Bob will insist that you stay here. Come down Sat. nite if you can- So much the longer to stay. I've run out of paper so guess I'd better close this book for now. Until I hear from you again- I love you
Your
Gini
Sunday 1:30
Dearest One,
I never should have called you yesterday. Do you think I could sleep last night? No- as soon as the lights were out- your sweet face was before me. I relived every caress- every bittersweet moment we've shared. I could feel your strong body close to mine.- your arms tight around me & your sweet kisses on my lips. I was holding you so close to me, my arms ached-It was so real I had to get out of bed to break the spell. I just can't go on thinking about you like this my angel or I'll be a raving maniac. I need your love and you more than I have ever needed anything before in my life. I love you with all my heart & soul.- I wish you could find it in your heart to believe me. I'll be patient my sweet-at least I'll try with all that's in me.
Say- now aren't you the one- receiving two letters in one day- and phone calls and all! I'm such an idiot- I' afraid darling- so afraid of being hurt and yet I can't stop myself from going pell-mell into it. I'm really asking for it I know. Should I stop writing? Do you want me to? I miss you so.
I'll never forget this last birthday as long as I live. I received the greatest
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gift of all- I.met you.
I sat here last eve. by myself and watched the Lawrence Welk Show & you were in my thoughts- They played a song from the Eddy (unreadable) Story that expressed something I feel- I can't remember the title but some of the words were -"you have the right to love a second time" "You can't live in the past"- (unreadable) I wish I could remember all of them.
We didn't go to the dog show & Bob went out to deliver my audit to one of my co-workers & stayed there until 10:30- I didn't care- It left me alone with my thoughts. WOW ee-
My Darling, my greatest hope is that I will be all you want me to be.-I have so much to give. I'm jealous of every minute we are apart every second that we can't share. Would you love me 24 hours a day? I'm afraid I would never let you alone & you would soon grow tired of me.
I spoke to Bob last eve.about your coming down next week-end and believe me Norman he's all for it. He doesn't remember anything he said or did at Elaine's & feels bad that he was so drunk. Please believe me- he knows nothing. He thinks you called me yesterday to check when we were coming up. Everyone knows I talked to you & I'm sure we will make it yet.
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It will be torture to see you for such a short time and yet so wonderful. My eyes will answer Yours my darling- every inch of me will be wanting You. Sit beside me at dinner if possible, maybe----ok---- Norman-I love you so much.
Until Tues my love- I just can't wait anymore- my heart is aching & I have a lump in my throat. I want you so.
Your
Gini
Forever
P. S. 1 I'll come all the way to Hagerstown if you say so- I love you
P. S. 2 The other letter is for Bob to read.
P.S. 3 Break the news gently to Buddy- about me coming up- Mrs. W. hasn't made up her mind yet-tho' I'd be willing to bet she won't stay home. I hope he will be nice to her- maybe it will ease the pain a little
Gini
*Blog Author's Note:
I had no idea when exactly my parents met. Until now.
Mrs. W. is the slutty mother in law in case that was confusing.
Who knew 1956 was not anything like "Leave it to Beaver"
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