Washington DC, March 28, 1956

Mr Norman (redacted)
c/o the Buddy Rocco 3
the Colonial Hotel
Hagerstown, Md

Wednesday 9 AM

Dearest,

     I can't sleep-Morning has come , but still I can't sleep- My darling- I'm crying so hard. It was so wonderful to see you- I don't know what to do-This grieving for you is making me ill- I can't eat, sleep- all I can do is force myself to keep going- Norman I wish I could die- if only you could put your arms around me and never let me go-

     I'm so mixed up and confused-I don't know if you are really fickle- Norm please write me- Please put a little more of  You in your letters- I need you so- It's so hard  for me now not to pick up the phone and call you- It's right by my bed-My Darling, just to hear your voice. If only I could have stayed. You wouldn't like me this morning tho' my eyes & beak are all red from sobbing- of course if I was there I wouldn't be crying-

     10:45 AM

     You see how little will power I have where you are concerned.Talking to you helped a little-at least you straightened me out on a couple of things- I should really be ashamed of myself- the way I'm behaving-believe me darling I've never thrown myself at anyone before.There seems to be some force pushing me- I have no shame where you are concerned I don't even feel responsible- It was

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just meant to happen. I know I'll  never want second best after you. I know what heaven it will be, 9:45 next Wednesday.

     I don't know what to say- I feel so lost- I mustn't say I love you- with my whole being-every ounce of body and soul- every breath I breathe with every beat of my heart. How can I stop loving you? only when I stop living. It has only been 8 hrs. since our last fleeting kiss & less than 1 hr since our goodbye on the phone- oh but darling it seems like forever.

     I'm a selfish, brazen, brat and you shouldn't even like me a little.I' not worth taking up your precious time- or anyone elses for that matter- you are so precious to me- I want I'ts (excuse out of ink) will make you happy- always- I do understand why you can't say you love me- at least I'm trying- maybe when we see each other you can tell me-I have no right what ever to ask you to love me- I'm just a dumb little nobody wishing for  a star away out of my reach. I wish I could stay calm & cool  and live in my little dream world built solely around you.- but this feeling is all new and wonderful and when I start thinking about it- the smoldering, burning passion deep withing me keeps me all unnerved & out of control.    

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It's now 12 noon &
still no sleep-

     I'm just lying here thinking & holding you close to My heart- I don't dare write all my thoughts. You say I can put myself into the written page- oh my darling if I could I'd be beside you lying close in your arms. I've read your letter I received yesterday at least 10 times this morning I can hear your voice saying the words to me. Your dear sweet, tender voice that can make me feel as tho' someone really cares. I know different now- I'll share anything you will allow me to my angel, one whispered word is worth all the heartache. 

     I'm clearing out of here- that much I know- it will be a slow process, but one that is inevitable.

    Well sweet- I might as well give up and get up- I have so much work to do- Mrs. W. and Elaine just called- they feel fine- Mrs. W. wants me to come have dinner with her. I don't know if I can take it. We will both be talking about last night with love in our hearts- she's really gone on Buddy- and I can't bear the thought of discussing that fated night again---

     I can't write any more- Norm- My heart is too full and everything is coming out all wrong. Be careful & take care of yourself. Until next time.

 

Your
Gini

call me Thurs. around 4 or sat. around 11 or 12 noon or just sometime- I love you

Darling, may I please have one of those larger pictures of you- it would help with the portrait considerably.