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This first letter was addressed:
Mr. Norman (redacted)
C/o Buddy Rocco 3
Colonial Hotel
Hagerstown, MD
Monday 6:30 p.m.
My Darling,
You haven't been gone very long, but - just knowing you are too far away to even talk to, I feel lost.I went shopping on Conn. Avenue with my best friend today and at 5 p.m-I looked at my watch-something inside must have told me the exact moment-I thought to myself-My darling is just starting to play again & I wished above everything else I could be there.I hope maybe you were thinking of me.
I've had two Manhattan's on an empty stomach and I may not make much sense. I'm so lonely for you -Norman- I think it's all wrong-Maybe I'm asking for a lot more heartache than I've already had but I know this-even tho' you have hurt me so much already-I'll carry this feeling and desire with me until I die-I've never had anyone look into my eyes with such warmth and desire as you do. oh-my angel I know there just isn't any love in the world like I love for you-
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I know I'm heading for a big fall just as I was afraid before. It took me 6 years the last time to even dull the pain-Maybe I'm more at fault than you know-and here I am again wanting you so-and afraid at the same time. I know if I were in your arms and we did All of the things we wanted to-it would be heaven on earth-maybe if we had six months-it would even be the most wonderful thing that ever happened to both of us-but when the newness wore off-what then?
Tues. Morning-9 a.m.
Good morning, My sweet- I'm still in my nightie.You are my waking thought every day-and every minute from there on-I feel so lonely sometimes I can hardly wait for bedtime when I can sleep. I think of sleep as my passport to oblivion and there for a little while you either- become very real, in my dreams, or all is quiet and still and I know nothing.
Put your arms around me and hold me so gently-I can still feel you pressed so close to me. You are so sweet and gentle-you said yesterday-you liked to hear me laugh-my darling-only you can make me
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laugh-I love your sense of humor. You are my dream-you are so strong and good, I need you so. Do you mind if I lean just a little-I don't know what it's like to feel protected-oh-I've been protected, sheltered, etc. all my life- the wrong way. I want to be loved & protected.
Honestly Norman-you must think this letter or the writer is absolutely crazy-at this point 2 am so mixed up & confused. The only thing I know is-I love you, & need you and am so lonely. Donia(that's my best friend) and I are driving out to Elaine's today for lunch and I wish I could keep right on coming straight into your arms.
How was the drive up? I hope you didn't have any trouble. How was your first night in Hagerstown? Did you miss me? Are you taking care of yourself-I wish I could take care of your every want and need. Do you think some day I may have the chance?
My dearest one-it's the presbyterian in me I guess- but I really believe
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what is to be will be- and I am praying to that unknown something for us and our unknown future.
Norman-Please if you want me to stop tell me-I'll never be able to stop the way I feel, but I won't go on like this to you. I must tell you what I feel-I've never written to anyone like this-I want you to know everything about me. Just as I want to know everything about you. I can't lie my darling-I don't want you to ever lie to me-that is the one thing I hate most-all I know is-feelings don't lie and we need each other the most-
I'm going to try to be calm, cool, and collected from now on and let things take their course. Maybe my next letter to you will make more sense and not be so disconnected-
I want to mail this today-hoping I'll have an answer this week- we will be up to see you next week one night-probably-Wed. I don't know for sure. I'm longing to see you-just to look into your sweet eyes- baby blue-I asked you Sat- when we were doing the dishes-if I imagined your eyes were telling me what I
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wanted them to?- You did not answer me. No-darling I don't need a diagram.
Memories are what you made for me Sat. I'll never let them go. Do you think I'm too sentimental? Are you sentimental? I'm a complete idiot on the subject. I treasure little things-just a touch, a glance, one word. Are you like that sweet thing? Please say you are. I think you understand what I mean- I know you understand me-kiss me My Darling-right in the middle of Conn. Ave-kiss me kiss me oh- why can't I change the subject- I want to kiss you from head to toe. Enough is Enough- I must get dressed or I'll be here all day just daydreaming-WOWEE---
Write to me-I can hardly wait-just to see your name, I adore you, I love you, I need you, I want you, XXXX and thousands more-until your cheek is close to mine and your arms around me - my longing will be tremendous-look out-- am I scaring you or do you want me wild!
Oh Norman-I love you-
(lipstick print)
Your SCATTERBRAINED, CRAZYHEADED, EVER LOVIN-I'M FOR YOU
Gini
*Blog Author's note
Yes dear readers, my mother was most definitely sentimental to a degree that may cause illness in the reader. One interesting note, however, right before she signs off and says her last 'I love you' the phrase 'I adore you, I love you, I need you, I want you' made my dear hubby laugh as he was dictating it to me. I had never heard either of my parents use this particular phrase before, but it is the same phrase the two of us use when trying to convey the depth of our feelings for each other. I guess love, is love, and engenders the same verbiage in lovers, no matter the time period.
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